5 Mom Confessions

Kelly at Kelly’s Korner is writing “Week in the Life” posts this week, which has inspired me. I’ve wanted to get back on the bloggy bandwagon and keep a record of our daily ins and outs since I know that before I know it Michael will be graduating from college and getting married. But I kept talking myself out of it since I know in my heart of hearts that nobody (including Future Me) wants to read seven consecutive posts about me feeding my child, changing my child’s diapers, and watching PBS kids while my child harasses the pets. But today we actually got out of the house, which reminded me why I never leave the house, so I thought one Day in the Life post can’t hurt. Please bear with me.

I woke up at around 8:20 when I heard Michael jabbering on the baby monitor.

I know that all Good Moms wake up super early, get showered and dressed, make coffee, and eat breakfast while enjoying an extensive quiet time before their kids wake up, but that doesn’t happen at my house. I’m not what one would call a Morning Person. I’m more of a Late Afternoon or Evening Person. I’m also six months pregnant with an active baby and a bladder the size of a walnut. So nights are rough for me. Consequently, I usually wait to hear Michael waking up before getting up myself.

Michael usually wakes up at around 7am, but he went to bed late last night because my husband got home late from the grocery store, and then there was dinner and bath time and the evening just got away from us. (That’s right, after working all day my husband also went to the grocery store for me. Don’t judge me.) Usually Garrett will change Michael’s diaper and bring him to our room to cuddle with me if he’s still home when the munchkin wakes up. But since we got a late start to the day today, I went and got him. Michael gave me the sweetest grin when he saw me, reminding me that my child is a Morning Person and nothing like me. I changed his diaper and took him back to our room to cuddle and watch Sesame Street.

I had a Big Outing planned to Hobby Lobby this morning and Michael was already pretty wound up, so cuddle time didn’t last long. We brushed our teeth (one of Michael’s favorite things to do), made the bed, and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. We had microwave silver dollar pancakes and yogurt. Michael loved the pancakes, which means that tomorrow he’ll probably hate them.

During breakfast Michael spilled syrup on the floor. He usually throws food down on purpose, but this time it was an accident so I didn’t yell.

I wish I could say that I always speak in a soft calm voice like that lady with 19 kids, but that would be an outright lie. The truth is that my beautiful child often ignores the Soft Calm Voice and laughs at the Authoritative I-Mean-Business Voice. Which leaves me with the Yelling Voice. It seems like little boys especially find it easy to ignore talk and respond only to action, i.e. drop the talking altogether and get up and put the child in time out. But my little one ain’t no dummy and sees that mommy has a growing belly and can’t move too quickly these days. So when I see my little cherub throwing toys at the pets or playing with the dog’s food or climbing on something dangerous, yelling is all I have while struggling to get out of a seated position. I read something recently about how we can’t make plants grow by yelling at them, so there’s really no point in yelling at your kids. But I have yet to meet a plant with little ears.

Back to the syrup…I managed to get up and get down on the floor to clean that mess, all the while wondering how I was going to manage that kind of thing when I’m nine months pregnant. With the big belly and back pain and pelvic pain and general tiredness, that pretty much took it out of me.

I cleaned up the kitchen and got Michael dressed. Normally I dress myself first and get Michael dressed only when we’re about to walk out the door, but he needed a diaper change and there was no way I was going to chase him down (yes, he delights in making me chase him now while he laughs gleefully) and pick him up to put him on the changing table twice, so I went ahead and put his clothes on and hoped that he’d stay relatively clean until we left. By that point I was exhausted, so I sat down on the couch to finish my coffee while we (yes, I said we) watched PBS Kids.

Michael knew that we were going somewhere since he had his shoes on, so he was ready to go NOW. That motivated me to get up and get dressed. While I was getting myself presentable, he played with our toothbrushes and shoes while I used my Authoritative I-Mean-Business Voice to tell him to LEAVE THE SHOES ALONE.

Seriously, I don’t know what it is with him and shoes and toothbrushes. He just loves them. As a matter of fact, his punishment last night for pouring water out of the bathtub was that he didn’t get to brush his teeth.

You may have noticed that a shower wasn’t involved in my morning routine. That’s because I frankly don’t enjoy showering while yelling (see Confession #2) at Michael through the glass to stay out of my makeup drawer and put daddy’s floss back on the counter and stop pulling out all of the floss and put every single shoe back in the closet etc. etc. So I usually wait until he’s napping or in bed for the night before showering.

So now we’re both dressed and the mad dash for the door begins. I managed to get a load of towels in the washing machine before we left, which reminds me that I never transferred them to the dryer. #HomemakerFail

We’re in the car and I look at the time – 10:56AM, approximately an hour after I’d hoped to leave. Oh well. After two months of living here, I still don’t know my way around very well and have to look up the nearest Hobby Lobby on my iPhone. In my Google search results I see an ad for Hobby Lobby coupons, which reminds me that I forgot to look for a printable coupon for my shopping trip. #CouponerFail

I finally make it to Hobby Lobby and get excited. I spent a large portion of yesterday afternoon/evening looking up ideas for Michael’s second birthday party next week. So I was there to get supplies for some crafty decorating ideas.

It’s approximately 947 degrees outside, but I make it from the parking lot into the store without passing out. I pick Michael up to put him in the cart and smell a dirty diaper. I didn’t bring his diaper bag in with me because I didn’t think I’d need it and there’s no way I’m going to walk back out in that heat again without getting in the car and driving away, so I decide to get my shopping done quickly and change him afterward.

Of course, nothing is as easy as we hope it to be. I don’t know if you’ve been to Hobby Lobby lately, but it’s LARGE. Which requires a lot of walking. And searching. And hoping that what you’re looking for isn’t on the end of the store that you just left. Add to that an inquisitive toddler and cries of “don’t touch anything” and “I can’t believe you opened that now I have to buy it” and “mommy is such an idiot for letting you hold that” and you have a longer-than-expected shopping excursion.

We finally made it out of the store and into the car. I contemplated changing Michael’s diaper in the car before meeting Garrett at his office for lunch, but my tiny bladder was in pain and my nose was doing everything it could to fight off the diaper smell and I knew changing that diaper would result in me vomiting in the parking lot. It’s been at least ten years since I’ve vomited in a parking lot and don’t really care to relive those memories, so I just headed to Garrett’s office (which was only five minutes away) where either he would change the diaper or I could change the diaper and vomit privately.

We made it to Garrett’s office and he offered to change the diaper. It was a mess. Michael even ended up needing a change of clothes, which I was thankful to have. Wouldn’t you know it, a client walked in and talked to Garrett’s assistant while he was kneeling on the floor in his office in his suit changing Michael. And I was trying to figure out what to do with the dirty diaper so that the client wouldn’t be offended by it. I felt pretty bad about the whole thing, but at least the guy didn’t have to listen to me vomiting. Look at me trying to see the bright side of things! How unlike me. Just call me Pollyana.

Now that the little one is clean and good-smelling again, we head out to a Japanese restaurant for lunch. It’s already 1pm by this time, which is an hour later than Michael usually eats. Thankfully, I had cheerios in his diaper bag, which he munched on while waiting for our food. We have a quick lunch, drop Garrett off at his office, and head home. By this time Michael and I are both exhausted. He starts falling asleep in the car, so I start being silly and make him laugh. That usually doesn’t work, but for some reason today it did.

We get home and Michael at first refuses to go in because he wants to play with the garage door handle. That was a first. I finally get him inside and he gets his second wind and starts running around like crazy. I knew that he was super-tired and more than ready for a nap, but he decides to play hide and seek (another first) and takes off running while laughing gleefully. I’m not fast enough to keep up with him and the little stinker knew to stop laughing when he got to where he was hiding, so I resort to the Yelling Voice (again, see Confession #2): “Michael! Thomas! Come here!” I hear his “you’re no fun” whine from the study and walk toward it. He’s walking toward me with a pouty face. God help me, I love that little pouty face.

I get him down for a nap and feel the vomit rising. The Texas heat and exertion of the morning has me overheated and I throw up my lunch. But at least I made it to the bathroom in time (there I go being all Pollyana again). I then realize that I forgot to bring the bags in from the car. So I go back outside to do that in the 976 degree heat and thank God for air conditioning. I get my bags inside, but now I can’t find my phone. I look all over for it, even go back out to the car, but can’t find it. I’m frustrated with myself for wasting precious nap time and assume I left it in Michael’s room. I hope that nobody calls while he’s sleeping, then remember that nobody ever calls me so I’m probably safe. I finally sit down and see the phone sitting on a shelf in the entertainment center as soon as my fanny touches the couch. How did that happen? I struggle to get up again and retrieve my phone, finally able to settle in and start planning the menu for Michael’s birthday party.

Michael takes a short nap and the rest of the afternoon is a blur of goldfish crackers and PBS Kids and “stay away from the dog’s food” and time outs. There was also a half-hearted attempt at resuming potty training somewhere in there, but I just didn’t have it in me today. Garrett got home and we ate leftover KFC from the night before.

I just love this kid.

Then it was time for a bath. Garrett gives Michael a bath when he gets home in time, which thankfully he did today. Once he was dressed in his pajamas, Michael came out to play a little longer and pick up his toys.

I just love it when he’s all clean and in his pajamas. I just think he’s the cutest thing, especially with a grin behind that paci. The poor thing doesn’t realize that his paci’s days are numbered.

Then it was time for a good night kiss and Garrett took Michael to his crib. No matter how the day has gone, I always hate to see Michael go to bed for the night and miss him the second he’s out of the room.

I hoped that being a parent would teach me something about the heart of God, and I haven’t been disappointed. We’ve had a lot of changes and upheaval in the last few years, and there have been a lot of moments of loneliness and wondering if God has forgotten about me or is terribly unhappy with me. Then my little toddler will act out in a way only toddlers can, and that frustration comes to the surface, but I look at my son and feel so much fiery motherly love for him that I can barely stand it. And I realize why God continues with us, why Jesus came to die for us, and why I am not without hope – because God is love.

Once Michael was in bed, we watched the last few episodes of season 2 of 24 on Netflix while I did some things to get ready for Michael’s party. We came to bed at around 10pm, but I was determined to write this post tonight. So I’m up way later than I need to be, hoping that Michael sleeps in tomorrow, and thinking that a day at home is what we need.

Good night!