See all of my homeschool highlights for the 2024-2025 school year! 😊
Do you ever wonder if you’re making too many mistakes as a homeschooling parent? As someone in my tenth year of homeschooling, I can assure you that even with experience, doubts and challenges don’t just disappear—they evolve. Throughout this journey, I’ve found myself often wondering if I’m doing it “right,” if I’m giving my kids the best possible education, and if I’m balancing all the roles I’ve taken on. This week’s recap is about recognizing these challenges, approaching them with a practical mindset, and rediscovering the self amidst it all.
Identifying and Solving Homeschooling Challenges with an Engineer’s Mindset
The start of the school year is always a whirlwind of emotions. From organizing group work and managing routines to everything in between, each week has its own set of puzzles to solve. As an engineer, I naturally default to finding solutions—but sometimes, that’s easier said than done.
One thing I’ve learned is to approach homeschooling like a project manager would: with a fact-based, unemotional perspective. When my children are struggling to engage, or when our schedule seems to be going off the rails, it’s easy to get caught up in the stress and overwhelm. But if I can strip away those emotions and look at the issue clearly, the solution often becomes obvious. This is not about being unemotional as a mother—far from it. It’s about reserving the emotional energy for the positive moments and finding practical ways to move forward.
Balancing Problem-Solving and Emotions
Emotions are at the heart of parenting. There’s joy in watching your kids learn and grow, and sometimes frustration when things don’t go as planned. However, I’ve realized that to solve problems effectively, I need to remove the emotional “noise” and focus on the core issue. By taking a step back, I can see the situation more clearly and act with purpose, not just reaction.
The goal is to make room for those good emotions. If I let myself get stuck in cycles of frustration and overwhelm, I miss out on all the positive experiences with my children. I want to focus on those moments of connection, laughter, and growth without letting the problem-solving side of homeschooling drain all my energy.
Practical Examples from Week 3
A specific example from this week is our history studies. I love when our group work sparks fun, in-depth conversations, but they can derail our schedule if I’m not careful. My initial emotional response was, “How am I going to make this work without sacrificing our planned activities?” But once I calmed down and looked at the situation practically, the solution emerged: focus on the necessary work each day, and either let go of the less necessary work or find other creative times to include those “nice-to-have” activities.
This meant making a plan to “sneak in” learning moments at non-traditional times. I decided to carry some books with me when we go out—whether to a restaurant or a doctor’s appointment—and use that waiting time as an opportunity to share the books with my kids. This way, it feels less like “schoolwork” and more like a natural, enjoyable activity.
Rediscovering and Protecting the True Self
One struggle that feels almost universal for homeschool parents is the loss of a personal identity. It’s easy to feel like a “mom-shaped blob,” defined by your roles as caregiver and educator. I’ve been there. This year especially, as I turned 50, I’ve found myself reflecting on who I was before I became a mother and homeschooling teacher—and who I want to be now.
To balance the demands of homeschooling with self-care, I’ve had to consciously rediscover what I enjoy doing just for me. For example, I love sitting outside, listening to the birds, and letting my mind wander. I read for pleasure, not just for learning. I also enjoy picking up new skills, like learning how to create web apps or relearning Spanish. These moments bring life back into me as a person, not just as a mom or teacher.
Moving from Nurturing to Protecting the Self
In the past, I often thought of “nurturing” my true self, but I’ve realized that’s not enough. The problem with just nurturing is that self-care activities are the first to go when life gets stressful. Instead, I’ve adopted a mindset of protecting my true self. When I view it as protection, it shifts my priorities. I’m no longer just trying to “fit in” activities when I can; I’m actively safeguarding my well-being so that I can continue to show up for my family.
It may sound like a small change in language, but it makes a huge difference. When you protect your true self, you make sure that activities that fill your emotional well don’t get sidelined by the busy demands of life. You ensure that you’re nurturing that inner person consistently, so you don’t reach a point of depletion and burnout and then have the ability to show up for your loved ones in the way that you desire.
Applying the Pareto Principle to Self-Care and Homeschooling
To maintain that balance, I’ve started applying the Pareto Principle to my life. I ask myself: What are the 20% of activities that bring me 80% of the joy and fulfillment? While raising my children and teaching them are hugely satisfying, these aren’t the activities that replenish me on a deeper, personal level. By identifying what truly brings life to my soul—those life-giving activities—I can ensure that I keep doing them without overwhelming myself.
One thing I’ve learned is to keep my list of daily activities short. If I overload myself with too many tasks, I set myself up for failure and frustration. Instead, I focus on a few high-impact activities that make me feel like me. And I remind myself that it’s okay to change those activities over time as my needs and interests evolve.
Conclusion
As I reflect on my third week of homeschooling this year, I’ve learned that balancing problem-solving with emotions is crucial. By adopting an engineer’s mindset and addressing challenges without getting bogged down in emotion, I can focus on what truly matters—my kids, my homeschool, and my well-being. And by protecting my true self and nurturing life-giving activities, I can continue to be the homeschool mom I want to be without losing myself in the process.
If you’re facing similar struggles in your homeschool journey, I encourage you to take a step back, think practically about the issues you’re facing, and find those small moments that give you life and joy. And remember—evolving as a homeschool parent isn’t just about doing more, but about doing what’s best for both you and your children.
Have you found ways to think more practically about your homeschooling challenges? What life-giving activities do you protect for yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. And if you’d like more weekly recaps and tips, be sure to check out my playlist to see how my homeschool journey continues to evolve!
